A friend was going through a rough time, so I asked her over for a weekend get together. Nothing fancy, we would do campfire hot dogs with chips and later indulge in our favorite Latte maybe even ice cream.
Sounded simple until I thought about inviting 6 other mutual friends who I knew would support her and suddenly a new image crept in. I started to notice things like the fire pit needed cleaning, the patio furniture needed painting and suddenly hot dogs and chips (simple) did not seem appropriate. In my mind I created a menu that would take me hours to prepare. The house would definitely need a through cleaning and where would I find the time to shop for my new menu?
As my husband was heading out for his game of golf I got even more irritated and asked him to help me get ready for the evening. He stopped and looked at me and said "okay, but just so you know I would never do this to myself." This gave me something to think about. Why was I doing this to myself? It started out as a great intention of comforting a friend, now I had made it into a huge project for myself. My friends would never judge me, my house or the food they were being served. I judged myself.
As the evening progressed I saw my friend relaxing and joining in with our friends who were laughing and sharing stories. No one noticed the repainted furniture however the hot dogs and chips were a great success.
Why do we as women take a simple gesture and turn it into a project for ourselves? We nurture others yet are so hard on ourselves with trying to have everything perfect. Why do we do this to ourselves, is it having to prove that we are super women and can do it all with perfection? Maybe it is time to refocus on the important things in life.
